TIME TO QUIT

Relationships are important – to each other, to our families, to our friends, to the people we care about. There comes a point in romantic relationships when things become serious and it becomes an actual Relationship, one where the idea of spending your life with this person and crafting your life together is a valid and understandable continuation of this relationship. When that isn’t achieved, the question becomes, ‘why not?’

< Ending a relationship is no easier with age and experience, but sometimes we become so caught in patterns and schedules, the comfortable grooves of our lives, something as disruptive and jarring as ending a relationship can seem too much effort and fuss, even when we’re not at all happy. If you’re feeling as if you’re stuck in this place, searching for signs as to whether or not to break up, check out the list of go-to signs we’ve compiled for when it’s time to bite the bullet and end the relationship.

1. He says, "I'm not ready for a relationship," but you hear, "I'm not ready for a relationship right now, but if you keep trying I might be soon." Chances are he's not going to be ready anytime soon, if ever, and you might just be wasting your precious time at 20s (or 30s).

2. He's leading you on. The cycle goes a little something like this: He says sweet things that keep you hopeful, but then when you need him the most or ask him to go home for the holidays with you, he's MIA or declines the invite. If this happens once, maybe he has plans. If it happens more than once, you need to hit the eject button. Can't tell if you're being led on? Ask your best friends. They've probably been talking about how Brad has been leading you on for months now.

3. He says, "Jump!" You say, "How high?" If he's a dictator in the relationship, chances are he's a real dick too. Relationships aren't meant to be one-sided; you're supposed to talk things out or decide them together, not let him tell where to go and when. You're a #BOSS(Lady) too, so act like it.

4. You've compromised your standards so he fits the description of what you're looking for. If religion is important to you in a relationship, don't throw that out the window just because the guy you're with currently is a dreamboat who hates church. There is a guy out there who is a dreamboat and loves church — or whatever is important to you — just as much as you.

5. You're always packing a bag to sleep at his house. Who cares if you have roommates and he doesn't, or his place is bigger than yours. It's really annoying to always have to be the one schlepping your stuff over to his apartment every single time. So if he doesn't make an effort to sleep at your place at least sometimes, consider him inconsiderate.

6. You've broken up multiple times all for the same reason. He's not ready to commit. In times like these, I refer back to the book It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.

7. He only hits you up when you post a sexy IG or Snapchat. No.

8. He's always making excuses for why he didn't text you back or why he can't meet up. And they don't always make sense. If you feel like you're going crazy, he's being shady. Also, that's called gaslighting and it's a form of emotional abuse. 

9. He makes comments about other women's appearances when you're with him. Like, "She's hot," or, "Now that girl's really my type." Obviously, there are gorgeous people in the world — men and women — but he's just saying it to your face to bring you down.

10. He cuts you down. He spits comments that belittle you because he's the one who's really insecure. If you leave his place feeling worse about yourself than when you got there, it's time to get out.

11. He never takes you on dates, and only invites you over for wine and a movie at his place. You're not dumb. Wine and a movie is just another name for Netflix and chill, which is fine once in a while, but if he's pulling it all the time don't waste your time.

12. He always takes photos with other girls when he goes out and you're not there. You have no clue why, but he feels the need to make it known that he can still pull girls. He's not worth the stress.

13. He suddenly broke it off with another girl to go out with you. This could mean one of two things: He really likes you and that's it, or that's the name of his game and chances are he could turn around and do the same to you just as fast.

14. He always wants to hang out on a Tuesday night after work when he's bored, but somehow can never fit you in on a Friday or Saturday night. Time to find someone who can.

15. He always starts shit when you do go out together. Whether he has a problem with the waiter or can't handle the way some dude looked at him in the bar, you end up having a miserable time when you go out with him.

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VIRGIN AGAIN

VIRGIN AGAIN

Virginity is such a loaded word a virgin is someone who has never had sex. But "sex" is defined differently by different people. A lot of people think that women and men lose their virginity the first time they have penis-in-vagina intercourse (vaginal sex). But this definition is really limited because it leaves lots of people and other types of sex out of the picture.

According to Durex, the average age at which women have intercourse is 18 years, while it’s 17.4 years for the guys. the definition of virginity is complicated. Some people don't even care about it, it needs proper definition, a lady can actually lose her virginity without engaging in sexual intercourse.

 Losing one’s virginity is a physical act, whether or not a woman notices any blood from her vagina. The reason why some women bleed when they first have sex is because a thin layer of tissue called the hymen covers part of a woman’s vaginal entrance. It is believed when a woman has sex, the hymen tears and she may begin to bleed a bit. However, some women don’t have much of this tissue to begin with, or have tissue that has been torn from using tampons, from masturbation, or from being fingered by a partner. This is why looking for blood on the sheet or going to the doctor is a poor way of determining whether or not a woman is a virgin, but here we are talking about abstinence from sexual intercourse  But imagine if you could take your virginity back and give it to the man you were going to marry: Would you?

The word born-again virginity is not uncommon and it’s the claim that after having sex, a person can be restored to virginity by a spiritual renewal, vowing sexual purity until marriage and asking God for forgiveness. Some women have taken the idea of born-again virginity so far that they actually have had surgery to physically restore themselves to a “virgin” physical-sexual state. According to Dictionary.com: “Revirginization or born-again virginity  is the process of a sexually active person attempting to regain virgin status by abstaining from sexual relations, especially  during the time just before marriage; also called secondary virginity. People often become born-again virgins for religious reasons and to appease their families. Though they have had sex before, they vow to abstain from intercourse until marriage.

 

'Born-again virgin' is a term that is sometimes coined to talk about reclaiming one's virginity (as a religious good) after one has 'technically' lost it, i.e., after one has had experience of sexual intercourse," Dickey Young said. "Although men sometimes claim born-again virginity, too, it is largely young women who make such claims."  many women take the born-again virgin route out of shame."Shame is certainly a factor and a tool that religions use to regulate sexual behavior, "Where virginity is a value, losing virginity can lead to shame. Reclaiming virginity can allow one to hold one's head up with pride in the community.

 

Women in some cultures might try to become born-again virgins for safety reasons, as certain cultures punish premarital sex by death. "Certainly other cultures and forms of religion have used sanctions (sometimes very dangerous to women) to enforce virginity. The more dangerous the sanction, the less likely a woman would be to admit she has had premarital sex. Some even go far by seeing a gynecologist to get a new hymen after losing their virginity some of them want to do it for their “honor” but their lives could also depend on it as some cultures do put women into fears of losing their lives thereby meeting a gynecologist could be a life-saving procedure. They are afraid they will be killed by the youngest member of their family, or the youngest member of the groom’s family. “As part of thir cultural belief.

 

But some reject the phrases “born again virgin” and “revirginization” because they cheapen the struggles of those who have remained virgins into their 40s and older. They don’t have any special respect for someone who slept around in their teen years and 20s but who then abstained for a few years until they got married at 25 or 29. They don’t see these people as sexual heroes. They are not. But nonetheless we have a merciful God, and it wont be bad turning to him and vowing not to fall prey of pre-marital sex again and we should have the following thoughts at the back of our mind

God has forgiven you.

When you ask for forgiveness and you are sincere about it  God will forgive  us , He then choose to no longer remember the awful things we have done in the past that includes losing virginity before marriage. I tell you, there is absolutely  positively no doubt that God will forgive you for having sex before marriage. God's love for you cannot be shaken because of your past mistakes.

Now forgive yourself

Even though our sins are no longer counted against us, they are still very real and carry with them the earthly consequences we have to face every day. Once an act is done, it's done. Therefore, unfortunately, it isn't really possible to say that you are a born-again virgin. Once a bone is broken, it cannot be unbroken—only healed. But the memory will always be there and, often, the pain that goes with it. fears that God won't forgive us for this sin usually stem from the guilty feelings that come with having had premarital sex and regretting it. But as I said, the power of God's forgiveness is crazy powerful. It may be easy to understand that fact in your head, but why does the heart not agree? Why do we still agonize about it? Because we can't forgive ourselves. Our emotions may trample us, which results in feeling like we're too bad to be forgiven. There are a few reasons why this happens.

What now?

What's done is done. There is no changing it. However, rather than seeking born-again virginity, anyone who has made the mistake of having premarital sex should commit himself or herself to God and to abstaining from having sex until his or her wedding night. Claiming born-again virginity is just not biblical. Believing wholeheartedly in God's total forgiveness and making the choice to live righteously and in ways that are pleasing to Him that is definitely biblical 

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YOU HAVE YOUR RIGHT I HAVE MINE! (SAME SEX MARRIAGE)

YOU HAVE YOUR RIGHT I HAVE MINE(SAME SEX MARRIAGE)

Marriage is both ubiquitous and central. All across the globe, in every region, every social class, every race and ethnicity, every religion or non-religion, people get married. For many if not most people, moreover, marriage is not a trivial matter. It is a key to the pursuit of happiness, something people aspire to—and keep aspiring to, again and again, even when their experience has been far from happy. To be told “You cannot get married” is thus to be excluded from one of the defining rituals of the human life cycle. After all Marriage is the legal or formal recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship, so proponent will gladly hide under that  when It comes  to same sex marriage

Critics argue that marriage is defined as the union of a man and a woman, and to change that would go against natural law and risk undermining both the institution of marriage and the family’s role in holding society together. Legalization denies marriage’s central role as a step towards procreation. There are civil partnerships available for gays, but marriage is a step too far. In the French context, the changes in the law will remove the terms “mother and father” from the civil code weakening the rights of heterosexual families.

 Also Gay marriage runs fundamentally counter to many people’s religious views. To legalize it would offend deeply held beliefs and further erode the key role religion plays as a  moral bedrock in society. Christian, Jewish and Islamic leaders have all spoken out against gay marriage and point out that it runs counter to sacred writings.

 It makes no sense to talk about equal rights in this context. If that were the case, polygamous or incestuous marriages would have to be legalized too. There are always limits to rights. Legalization would be another step towards the mainstreaming of homosexuality in society. Nobody is stopping gay people from loving each other or staying in relationships, but that does not mean they can marry.

 But Proponents argue that equal rights must mean equal rights. A civilized society does not discriminate on grounds of race, religion, sex or sexuality and denial of marriage rights is clear discrimination. Gay and heterosexual couples both deserve the legal rights associated with marriage – on taxes, property ownership, inheritance or adoption. No matter how you try to dress it up, denying equal rights to gays and lesbians is homophobia.

 They continue by saying that marriage is a successful institution and it makes sense to open it to as many people as possible. Since the beginning of history, couples have sought to seal their love and solemnly bind themselves together through marriage. Opening that bond to all will strengthen society. Legalization recognizes reality: there are gay people, they love each other and they want to commit to each other through marriage in the same way as straight couples.

 More so the state should have no say on how consenting adults conduct their lives. If two people love each other and want to get married they should be allowed to do so regardless of the colour, religion, nationality or sex of their partner. Love and marriage should be a purely personal choice. When governments interfere in the private lives of people, dictating who can marry who, individual freedoms are compromised with potentially dangerous implications.

 

What do you think about same sex marriage? Share your pro or con views and help us foster civil, intelligent discussion on this social issues. Thank you!

 

 

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