TIME TO QUIT

Relationships are important – to each other, to our families, to our friends, to the people we care about. There comes a point in romantic relationships when things become serious and it becomes an actual Relationship, one where the idea of spending your life with this person and crafting your life together is a valid and understandable continuation of this relationship. When that isn’t achieved, the question becomes, ‘why not?’

< Ending a relationship is no easier with age and experience, but sometimes we become so caught in patterns and schedules, the comfortable grooves of our lives, something as disruptive and jarring as ending a relationship can seem too much effort and fuss, even when we’re not at all happy. If you’re feeling as if you’re stuck in this place, searching for signs as to whether or not to break up, check out the list of go-to signs we’ve compiled for when it’s time to bite the bullet and end the relationship.

1. He says, "I'm not ready for a relationship," but you hear, "I'm not ready for a relationship right now, but if you keep trying I might be soon." Chances are he's not going to be ready anytime soon, if ever, and you might just be wasting your precious time at 20s (or 30s).

2. He's leading you on. The cycle goes a little something like this: He says sweet things that keep you hopeful, but then when you need him the most or ask him to go home for the holidays with you, he's MIA or declines the invite. If this happens once, maybe he has plans. If it happens more than once, you need to hit the eject button. Can't tell if you're being led on? Ask your best friends. They've probably been talking about how Brad has been leading you on for months now.

3. He says, "Jump!" You say, "How high?" If he's a dictator in the relationship, chances are he's a real dick too. Relationships aren't meant to be one-sided; you're supposed to talk things out or decide them together, not let him tell where to go and when. You're a #BOSS(Lady) too, so act like it.

4. You've compromised your standards so he fits the description of what you're looking for. If religion is important to you in a relationship, don't throw that out the window just because the guy you're with currently is a dreamboat who hates church. There is a guy out there who is a dreamboat and loves church — or whatever is important to you — just as much as you.

5. You're always packing a bag to sleep at his house. Who cares if you have roommates and he doesn't, or his place is bigger than yours. It's really annoying to always have to be the one schlepping your stuff over to his apartment every single time. So if he doesn't make an effort to sleep at your place at least sometimes, consider him inconsiderate.

6. You've broken up multiple times all for the same reason. He's not ready to commit. In times like these, I refer back to the book It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.

7. He only hits you up when you post a sexy IG or Snapchat. No.

8. He's always making excuses for why he didn't text you back or why he can't meet up. And they don't always make sense. If you feel like you're going crazy, he's being shady. Also, that's called gaslighting and it's a form of emotional abuse. 

9. He makes comments about other women's appearances when you're with him. Like, "She's hot," or, "Now that girl's really my type." Obviously, there are gorgeous people in the world — men and women — but he's just saying it to your face to bring you down.

10. He cuts you down. He spits comments that belittle you because he's the one who's really insecure. If you leave his place feeling worse about yourself than when you got there, it's time to get out.

11. He never takes you on dates, and only invites you over for wine and a movie at his place. You're not dumb. Wine and a movie is just another name for Netflix and chill, which is fine once in a while, but if he's pulling it all the time don't waste your time.

12. He always takes photos with other girls when he goes out and you're not there. You have no clue why, but he feels the need to make it known that he can still pull girls. He's not worth the stress.

13. He suddenly broke it off with another girl to go out with you. This could mean one of two things: He really likes you and that's it, or that's the name of his game and chances are he could turn around and do the same to you just as fast.

14. He always wants to hang out on a Tuesday night after work when he's bored, but somehow can never fit you in on a Friday or Saturday night. Time to find someone who can.

15. He always starts shit when you do go out together. Whether he has a problem with the waiter or can't handle the way some dude looked at him in the bar, you end up having a miserable time when you go out with him.

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