ILORIN COURT DISSOLVES LONG TERM MARRIAGE OVER SEVERE WIFE BATTERING

A five-year-old marriage riddled with crisis between Aminat and her husband, Mustapha Abdullahi was on Thursday pronounced dissolved by an Ilorin Area Court. The court said the constant battering of the woman by the estranged husband was a major plank on which the judgment was based. The petitioner, a resident of Gambari area of Ilorin, told the court that their marriage which was contracted in 2012 had produced one child. She said that her husband always beat her at the slightest provocation, adding “he failed as a father to take care of his child and me. “My husband beats me whenever I ask for money for food and I cannot continue with an irresponsible man who did not care for me and the child. “My Lord, I want an end to this union because I do not love him again,” Aminat told the court. She urged the court to grant her the custody of the child and also compel the ex-husband to be responsible for the school fees and feeding of the child. She said her husband borrowed N32,000 from her and asked the court to help her to collect the money. Newsmen report that the husband, who was represented by his counsel, Mr Abdullahi Jimba, said he had his authority to accede to the dissolution of the marriage and also agreed to pay for school fees and feeding of the child. He, however, told the court that he was not aware of the issue of debt and asked for another date for hearing on the debt. In his judgment, the judge, Mr Abdulkadri Ibrahim, dissolved the union and adjourned the case until Nov. 7 for hearing of the debt claim.

Read More

AN IDEAL PARENT

A parent has the responsibility to educate their children so that when the child grows up they will have a job that they are comfortable with and are able to receive a good amount of income. If a parent does not educate their children then there is a danger of the child not being able to get any job at all when they grow up and so will be totally dependant on their parental figure.

Another responsibility which a parent has is that they are also responsible for their child’s health. If the child was to be in an accident or

get an illness of any sort then it is the parent’s responsibility to make sure that they are properly taken care of. If a parent were to not pay attention to any medical issues that their child has then it can be detrimental to the child’s health and might even require hospitalisation.

Parents also have the responsibility to provide shelter for their parents as the child would not be able to look after themselves due to the fact that they will most likely not have a job to support themselves. Since a parent is responsible for providing shelter for their child then it is necessary for the parent to have a job. If a parent does not provide shelter for their children for some reason then the parent will most likely be visited by Social Services and might even be taken into custody.
Qualities For An Ideal Parent:

An ideal parent should be responsible because they need to be able to care for their children because the child will not be able to properly take care of themselves until they are an adult. If the parents were

not responsible then the child would not be properly taken care of (Food, Health, Education etc.). If however, the parent is too responsible then the child would not have enough freedom and will not be able to properly grow up as their parents will always be taking care of them.

Another quality that an ideal parent should have is that they should have a fun attitude so that they can try and implement that attitude into their child which would help the child to be more relaxed in life and not get stressed too much. If a child did not have a parent with a fun attitude then they will have trouble being fun themselves as they will not have learnt it from anyone and they will have trouble relaxing when they grow up. If the parent has too much of a fun attitude and is too reckless then the child might also be reckless as well.

An ideal parent should also be caring as that is what one the main characteristics required to take care of a child. By being caring towards the child the parent is sort of guiding the child towards the right path in life. If a parent does not care for a child then the child would have to make their own decisions in life and will most likely make the wrong ones. If a parent however was too caring then they will most likely not give their child enough freedom and will always be smothering them thereby not making them independent enough in their life.
 

Read More

Divorce Is Genetic, Not Psychological

Children of divorced parents are more likely to get divorced when compared to those who grew up in two-parent households.

According to a study by researchers at Virginia Commonwealth University and Lund University in Sweden, this is caused by genetics and not psychological factors.
The researchers analysed Swedish population registries and found that people who were adopted resembled their biological but not adoptive parents and siblings in their histories of divorce.
“We were trying to answer the basic question: Why does divorce run in families?” Across a series of designs using Swedish national registry data, we found consistent evidence that genetic factors primarily explained the intergenerational transmission of divorce,” said Jessica Salvatore, an assistant professor at VCU.

By recognising the role that genetics plays in the intergenerational transmission of divorce, therapists may be able to better identify more appropriate targets when helping distressed couples.
“Focusing on increasing commitment or strengthening interpersonal skills may not be a particularly good use of time for a therapist working with a distressed couple.
“At present, the bulk of evidence on why divorce runs in families points to the idea that growing up with divorced parents weakens your commitment to and the interpersonal skills needed for marriage.
“However, these previous studies haven’t adequately controlled for or examined something else in addition to the environment that divorcing parents transmit to their children: genes.
“For example, other research shows that people who are highly neurotic tend to perceive their partners as behaving more negatively than they objectively are [as rated by independent observers].
“So, addressing these underlying, personality-driven cognitive distortions through cognitive-behavioral approaches may be a better strategy than trying to foster commitment.”

Read More

How Young Is Too Young?

When it comes to teenage love, how do you know if your child is too young for a relationship? Stay in tune with what’s happening in your teen’s life, and be ready to give guidance and emotional support. Start by taking a look at the big picture. According to studies at the University of Florida, the younger the teen, the less serious he or she considers a romantic relationship to be. The typical teen romance lasts roughly five months for younger teens, and may extend up to two years for older teenagers. It turns out that teens tend to date for socialization reasons or peer acceptance. Older teenagers are likely to make stronger emotional connections and may look to their partner for social support. You can provide support and relationship guidance to your teenager by making them feel more comfortable communicating with you about personal and social matters. Try these conversation starters:                                                                                                

If your teen is stressing and becoming obsessed with a relationship, it may be time to set some “family limits.” Steve and Patt Saso, a husband-wife team who have been teaching parenting for more than 20 years, say it’s vital to discuss responsible sexuality with your teen. As authors of Talking to Your Kids about Responsible Sexuality (CD), they say it’s essential for parents to establish guidelines and family rules that will help keep their teens safe.                                                                                                                          

Some of these limits may relate to restricting internet time or cell-phone conversations. Suggest alternate activities and other things they are interested in.                                                                                               

Talk with your teen “creatively” (lecture-free) about the physical, emotional, and spiritual consequences of engaging in premarital sex, advise Steve and Patt Saso.                                                                                       

What Is the Parent's Responsibility? 

               

No matter how much of a “crush” your teen has and how much you might not like the object of admiration, try not to make light of the relationship.                                                                                              

Keep your communication lines open with your teen. Avoid making judgment calls so that your teen will not move toward secrecy about this relationship or future ones.                                                                            

Remember to talk frankly about your family values (without lecturing). Discuss dating, sex, and certain things like whether a boyfriend or girlfriend values their education, is close in age to your own teen, and stays clear of drugs.                                                                                                                                                    

If the relationship interferes with, becomes obsessive, or prevents other activities, try to keep a watchful eye on it.                                                                                                                                                               

Be sure you’re speaking honestly with your teen about who he or she is hanging out with, where they’re going, and what they are doing.                                                                                                                               

What If Your Teen’s Relationship Gets Sexual? 

Is your teen ready for romance? If you believe your teen is going further than you first thought—and starting to experiment sexually—you need to talk with him or her about it. Birth control will need to be included in that discussion.

At what age are teens moving from casual dating? 

According to the non-profit organization Child Trends, more than 40 percent of teenagers have sexual intercourse between age 15-19—some with multiple partners. The fact that they are having sex does not necessarily mean they are ready for real romance.

Is a teen's brain still developing?

 Research shows that preteen and teen romantic encounters may have long-term serious emotional and physical repercussions. The adolescent years are a crucial period for the brain to make certain connections as it continues to develop, and this process may continue through the teen years. Educating about Responsible Sex Responsible romance at 14? Whether teens are ready for romance and sex at age 14 is the subject of debate. The reality is that many of them are experimenting with premarital sex. Junior high and high school years also tend to be the time-frame when adolescents are questioning their sexual preferences, and many engage in risky behavior. Oxford University’s Practical Ethics reports that an online sex education resource such as RespectYourself.info for preteens and teens may go a long way toward easing doubts and clearing up myths they might have about the subject. This website has drawn both positive and negative attention. Oxford University points out that if teens have such a resource, it may help ease anxiety by helping them understand physical changes and urges in terms to which they can relate. It can help teens understand what to expect, emotionally and physically, and where they can access contraception if they are sexually active. This may aid them in learning how to prevent sexual abuse, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and pregnancy. Remember to stay connected with your teen. By keeping up-to-date with what’s happening in their teen romance—whether they’re ready for it and how far they’ve progressed—will need monitoring and face-to-face talks with mom or dad!

Read More

Everything You Want to Know About InVitro Fertilization (IVF)

In Vitro Fertilization, or IVF, is a procedure in which a woman’s eggs are combined with a man’s sperm inside a laboratory dish. The eggs and sperm are placed inside a dish along with a special culture that allows the eggs and sperm to survive outside the woman’s body. The dish is kept in an incubator and monitored closely by laboratory personnel to watch for fertilization and cell division to occur. Once the eggs have developed into 2-8 cell embryos, the embryos can then be transferred back into the woman’s body. This process can take up to five days depending on the clinic you use.

Reasons to have IVF IVF is usually not the first treatment option for infertile couples. Your doctor may try other options including fertility medications or IUI before resorting to IVF. IVF may be advised if you or your partner have been diagnosed with any of the following problems:

Endometriosis

Ovulation problems

Damaged or blocked fallopian tubes

Problems with the uterus

Low sperm count or sperm motility problems

Unexplained infertility

What should you do if you think you need IVF?

Most couples will get pregnant on their own within 12 months of actively trying to get pregnant simply by having regular unprotected intercourse. If you have been trying to get pregnant on your own and are concerned that you might have fertility problems, it is good to start off by seeing a general gynecologist. You should talk to your general gynecologist about your concerns, discuss your medical history, and ask him at what point he would refer you to a fertility specialist. If you are under 35 and have been trying to get pregnant for a year or more, your doctor may refer you to a fertility specialist. If you are 35 or older, your doctor may refer you for fertility treatment after just six months of trying.

Tests that are done before IVF

Before resorting to IVF, your doctor may want to do some testing to determine what is causing your fertility issues. Some tests that are commonly done before IVF include:

HIV & hepatitis test: (for safety reasons you and your partner’s blood will need to be tested prior to having IVF)

Female fertility tests: Before having IVF, you may be required to have blood testing done to check your hormone levels, determine egg quality, and verify whether or not you are ovulating. Your doctor may also want to check the structure of your uterine cavity and check for any blockage of your fallopian tubes. You may be given a test called an HSG, or hysterosalpingogram, which is a special x-ray of the uterus and fallopian tubes. It allows your doctor to see any abnormalities in the uterus or if your tubes are blocked.               

Male fertility tests: Your partner may be required to have a semen analysis done before having IVF. A sample of your partner’s semen may be sent off for analysis to check his sperm count, sperm motility, and sperm quality.                                                                                                                                               

Mock Transfer: Some clinics will do a mock transfer before doing IVF. During a mock transfer, your doctor will insert a catheter into your uterus, much like he would during a real transfer. This mock transfer allows him to measure the depth of your uterus and to determine the best way to insert the catheter during the real transfer.                                                                                                                                                  

IVF Treatment: What to expect

IVF involves fertilizing your eggs in a laboratory dish and then transferring them back into your body. In order for IVF to be successful, you will need to ovulate and produce multiple eggs for fertilization. To make this happen, your doctor will give you fertility medication at the start of your cycle that will stimulate your ovaries to produce several mature eggs for fertilization. Your doctor will have you come in for blood work and an ultrasound to check the development of your eggs. Once your eggs are mature, your eggs can be retrieved for fertilization.

You may be sedated or given local anesthesia for the egg retrieval procedure. The eggs are removed from your ovaries by inserting a thin needle through the back of the vagina. Using an ultrasound to guide him, your doctor will gentle suction the eggs and follicular fluid into test tubes. You may feel some cramping on the day of the procedure. Your doctor may prescribe pain medication to relieve discomfort.

Your partner will provide a semen specimen the day of the procedure. This semen will be used to fertilize your retrieved eggs. If your partner has a low sperm count, a procedure called intracytoplasmic sperm injection may be performed in combination with IVF. This procedure takes a single sperm and injects it directly into the egg to fertilize it.

Your partner’s sperm and your eggs will then be placed inside a laboratory dish and monitored for up to five days. Each of your eggs will be watched until they develop into a group of cells called an embryo. Once your embryos are ready, they can be transferred into your uterus. Your doctor will place up to four embryos inside your uterus during the transfer. To transfer the embryos, he will insert a thin catheter through your cervix and into your uterus, releasing the embryos at the top of your uterus. After the embryos are transferred, you will need to rest. You may stay in bed for several hours following the transfer before you are discharged. If the transfer was successful, you should know within a couple weeks.

Find an IVF specialist near you

IVF Success Rates IVF success rates vary. Certain fertility problems are more challenging to treat than others. Your age is also a big factor in the success rate of IVF. Likewise, some clinics have higher success rates than others. The CDC keeps track of statistics for all assisted reproductive technology procedures performed in fertility clinics in the US. According to the most recent report from 2005, the percentage of cycles resulting in live births is approximately:                                                                

37% for women under age 35

30% for women age 35-37

20% for women age 38-40

11% for women age 41-42                                                                                                                                      

Chances of having twins with IVF

If you have IVF, you will have a higher chance of having twins or multiples. Having twins or multiples puts you at a higher risk for having a miscarriage or other pregnancy complications. During each IVF cycle you can transfer up to four embryos. Transferring four embryos will improve your chances of getting pregnant, but it will also increase your chances of having a multiple pregnancy. According to the CDC, the percentage of IVF pregnancies with twins is approximately:                         

33% for women under age 35

27% for women age 35-37

22% for women age 38-40

13% for women age 41-42                                                                                                                                

How much does IVF cost?

According to the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, the average cost of one IVF cycle is about $12,400. The price for IVF, however, will vary depending on where you live and the amount of cycles you have done.

Read More

Worship Your Wife If She Is Taller Than You ----- Marriage Counselor, George Lutterodt

Controversial Counsellor Lutterodt always has something to say to stir conversations, and this time, he’s targeting short people.

According to Lutterodt, people who are short find it difficult to get women to go out with them. He therefore said any short man who manages to get a girl should make sure she never leaves him.

“I am encouraging all the short men. Be careful not to lose all the women who have agreed to marry you because if you lose them because of your height it will be difficult for you to get another woman to marry…” he said.

“If you are short, look at yourself in the mirror every morning salute and thank your wife. Don’t make a mistake to let her go or file for divorce. If you are a short girl too, makes sure you are beautiful…” he added.

“If you are a married short man, never make the mistake to let your wife ask for a divorce…” he concluded.

Read More

“Maybe Shes Beaten Up by Her Spiritual Husband”-------Churchill

Nollywood actress Tonto Dikeh went on a ranting spree yesterday over an interview granted by her ex-husband, Olakunle Churchill.She revealed some dirty secrets about her ex-husband as she was clearly pissed off with his comments in the interview.Churchill came under fire from his ex-wife after he granted an interview to a Ghanaian Media House.In the interview, he claimed he gave her N10m as a gift, however,she said it was money she spent on their wedding.

On marriage and life after divorce

“I’ve not seen my child since December and I have no option. I can’t see him forcefully because Tonto Dikeh can use anything against you. She is an extremist. The drama was too much and nobody likes that. “I was warned by friends and family not to marry her but didn’t heed the advice. I gave her the chance and she failed.”

On domestic violence allegations

“She claimed I beat her but at that moment, I wasn’t at home – I was in Ghana. I tried to protect my family but she made things difficult. She’s not someone you can beat! All her allegations were planned to bring me down.
“The incident that happened in my mum’s house was on December 20, 2016. She had a charity event on December 22 but there was no evidence of beatings on her body. You can Google online to see the dates’ intervals about her ‘road fixing’ in Abuja.

As far as I am concerned, I’ve not touched her before. Maybe, it’s her spiritual husband that beat her up. She’s super hyper so I had to stay calm in our marriage. She’s stubborn so you can’t beat her.

Read More